Ooo and I would walk 5000 STEPS, and I would walk 5000 STEPS more. Does not have the same catchy rhythm as the Proclaimers version does it?

Bank Holiday Mondays Escapades.

The Dumpiest One on the block almost tackled a mountain today! Ok ok I didn’t, but it felt as steep as one. One must try to remember, when walking at a fast pace, little wobbly legs powering down embracing the forward momentum, that One must also return and have to use those same little short legs, and power the puffing engine by pumping the bingo winged arms, to make slow painful process back up that disgustingly steep hill!

This hill of doom, will become my marker point, my measure for any increase in my stamina and fitness. One day I will jog up that hill! (I did write run, and technologically crossed it out with the delete key!)

Today the Short and Dumpy ones walk just fell slightly over the two mile mark. Only slightly I must admit, teetering on the edge.

Tomorrow the goal has been set. 10,000 steps. No hip jiggling, no stamping on the spot or hand waggling. 10,000 rubber trainer-ed sole to the pavement steps. I will not be content unless I return home with a blister! (of course this will give me a source of fruitless moaning, whining and whinging of why I cannot move for the rest of the day to make myself a cup of tea)

To fool my muscles into looking forward to this onslaught, I am sending mental pulses to them telling them we are helping to save the planet! The idea being I walk to the place I am normally chauffeured to in order to run. Muhauhuaha should be a good warm up for the old wibbly wobbly calf muscles before I whack out the interval training of the run-jog-pant-puff-huff-collapse. (slightly worried about the walk or stumble back. Also worried about forgetting to remove the pedometer when I start to run, it bouncing off my hip as the ripple of impact travels up my leg and it flying off to ricochet off any poor dog walker passing by)

Talking about things flying off and causing injury…. Tonight I successfully managed to not only make a cats cradle out of my resistance cord, but perfect my talent of looking like a demented kitten chasing a ball of wool. Not only that! I succeeded in transforming it into a massive rubber band and twating and twanging it into my forehead! Oh yes, I am amazing! Not many have this level of skill and ability to look like an escaped clown on day release from pre school! I feel quite proud.

Thirty minutes later the whack on the head must have been affecting me, as a result of the trauma and temporal lobe damage, I did an extra 10 minutes of squats and pliaes, in order to try to coax my wobbly bits into perfecting the proper form, before dancing and gyrating around the room to Rhianna’s Umbrella as I put my cords away. (it was not a pretty sight!)

The other important step I took today, was to take measurements of all of the bits I wish to change. Strangely enough for someone so determined to change themselves and their life, I do not have a set of scales in my home. I refuse to. I know that I would be tempted to stand on them upwards of 3 or 4 times a day, I know this as I have in the past.

My main aim is to start converting fat to muscle which is heavier. I know that within my mind, although I am fully aware of this fact, any increase or status quo (why am I now humming ‘rocking all over the world?) would have a negative affect on me. Not sure I am doing the best thing, but my measure will be looking in a mirror, and also tracking the progress by noting how my clothes are starting to feel looser and by using the tape measure to take mymeasurements.


Daily weighing would lead to discouragement because of the fluctuations in weight that can occur on a daily basis from water retention, especially for women when their menstrual period nears.

Weight can also fluctuate during the time of day so if a person gets on the scale in the morning one day and then in the afternoon the next day, he or she may see a "false" weight gain.

SO, I plan to measurements every two weeks. And to weigh myself once a month.
I am playing with the idea of taking monthly body shots. I will I will I will I promise myself.

Say CHEESE Dumpy One! Noo put that block of dairy down! The other kind of ‘say cheese!’ The camera never lies!